While running on my hamster wheel this morning, a song came on my ipod that I haven't heard in ages. Probably a couple years to be honest. As memories flooded my head and heart, and tears ran down my face, I knew I would be blogging today. That slight nudging turned in to a full blown kick in the seat of the pants! You know what I mean, you've all felt it. How many, like me, though have, on more than one (in my case numerous) occasions ignored the said "nudge"?
The books I've been reading lately, along with messages we've been hearing at church are resounding with me more than they ever have before. I don't think it's the content itself, as I've "heard it all" before, but more the place I'm reaching in life. That place where you feel like you know there has to be more to this life, more than just the day to day, the place where you want to know you're making a difference, the place where the nudge has now become that kick! We were all put on this Earth for a purpose. I don't care if you believe yourself to be a Christian or not, it still holds true that there is a purpose for your life. I've been trying for a long time to figure out what mine is. I think for the past few years its been raising my kids. While I'm not perfect, and I have a long way to go (just ask my kids, they'll tell ya), I want to believe I've done a decent job. Tony and I have raised our kids to think outside the box, to not feel like you have to follow the traditional paths in life, but to really think about what's important, what you feel you are called to do, and plan your life around that.
This brings me to the song. For those of you that haven't figured it out, its the title of today's blog, Defying Gravity, from the musical Wicked. When our oldest daughter Drisana was graduating 4 years ago, we said this was kind of her signature song at the time. Graduating with distinguished honors, in the top 10 in her class, and not going on to college. You can imagine all the things we heard. One well meaning relative even said "What a waste of a good brain". My response, "what about her heart?". I'm not upset with this person in the least, she was only saying what she felt, and what she was raised to believe. As many of you know, Drisana went on to do mission work in Mexico and has since gotten married down there, and she and her husband, Eleazar are full time missionaries. She got it, the fact that there are so many people out there hurting, that just need to know someone cares, she got that its not all.about.me! So much I can learn from her. So very proud!
Recently, another child sat in class talking about what she wanted to do when she grew up, listed about 3 different things, and the teacher pointed out all the reasons why they wouldn't be good choices for her. Again, I truly am not upset with these people, everyone has a right to their opinions. However, it does make me incredibly sad that we tend to put ourselves, and everyone around us in to this neat and perfect little box, and end up conforming to the masses. More often than not, what ends up happening is we live with regrets in our life. Things we wish we had done, places we wish we had gone, and more importantly people we could and should have helped.
What keeps you awake at night, what things do you see in your dreams/nightmares that break your heart? I'm figuring mine out, but unfortunately, telling you is not on today's agenda. That will have to be saved for another day. All I know is I would rather die for a cause then die with regrets. I challenge you to at least think about it, and don't let anyone stop you. You WILL face adversity at every turn in your life, but how you handle it is what will make the difference.
So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves a chance to fly
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am defying gravity
I'm flying high defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down
______________________________
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy my friend
